Well, I haven't been on for awhile...not that anyone has noticed...but there is a reason. My dad died on December 1, 2009 while riding his bike. One thing we know...he wasn't hit by a car. We still don't know what happened, but we hope that he didn't suffer.
You know, the word my mom used to tell me my dad died was deceased. What kind of word is deceased? She told me she used that word because that is what the police used. I hate that word. It seems that word is the "nice" way of saying dead. Just use dead...don't sugar coat it! And while I am on sugar coating...it's nice to hear the words "sympathy, prayers, thinking about you, condolences" the words we want to hear (in my opinion) were stinks or my favorite "sucks". It just sucks.
You know what else sucks...having to tell people. I wish there was some way of letting people know without having to tell them. I had to call my dad's sisters and tell them what happened...now that sucked. That was the WORST phone call to make...well, it was pretty bad calling Jeff and my brother, but I had to call my aunts (dad's sisters) to let them know their first sibling died. IT JUST SUCKED!!!! IT SUCKED CALLING EVERYONE!!!
Then there is your bodies reaction to death...the naseua, the puking, the pooping. Yup, I said it...your body just does weird things. I hadn't eaten anything for like 24 hours, but I was pooping! It was so disgusting!
Sorry about that last part, but just be forwarned!
I can also tell you it sucked to see your dad's body in the viewing room. We didn't get to see my dad's body for 2 days because it was at the Jackson County Medical Examiner for an autopsy. You know, he just looked like he was sleeping, but it wasn't my dad. I just wanted him to wake up and he wouldn't. THAT SUCKED
It also sucked when you had to plan who to ask to be a pall bearer, what casket to pick, and a headstone. It's also amazing what music they have a funeral homes...I was impressed, but I had to laugh because they asked us if we wanted someone to sing it or if prerecorded music was okay. We thought the prerecorded was just fine.
We went for some nicer headstone because I decided since I was going to look at it for awhile, I wanted it to look a certain way. I like my parents headstone.
Anyway...my dad was loved by many people. It was very apparent at his visitation and funeral. Lots of love from friends and family. I miss my dad. I miss his wrinkles, his smile, his hugs, his everything. I miss hearing his voice, but I have video. I miss him playing with Jack and Ainsley
I'm sure I will have more on this topic later (and I'm sorry), but it's my blog! Death sucks.
1 comment:
it sounds like everything about it sucks. i have not been through this so i can't say i know what you are going through at all but i'm not looking forward to it, not that anyone is. but i know one thing - i noticed you've been missing! but i knew why. glad to have you blogging again, of course i wish it didn't have to be about this.
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