Okay Dad...

Enough with the snow. Please talk to God about making it go away. The kids and myself and Jeff are done with the snow. It's nice out in Colorado and it's nice every once and awhile here, but now I can say this is too much. Dad, Jeff has been working hard on shoveling the driveway for the past hour and you can't even tell he has shoveled. Please talk to god about making the weather warmer and nicer. Now, I'm going to post our pictures from Winter Park, but I'd really like to post some pictures of sunshine and warm weather. Please dad...help us out. I'd really appreciate it! Hugs and kisses...Carolyn

Jack and his cool red boots

Jeff and Jack at Ski School

Jeff and Jack skiing down Village Way

My baby boy with skis!

Rough Day...Rougher Night

So, yesterday was a pretty rough day. The day started well. We went to church and my mom came and it was fairly normal. Later that morning we went to lunch with my dad's family at Galvin's in St. Joseph, MO. Lunch was yummy...fried chicken, potatoes, gravy, green beans, corn, bread, soup and my choice, pears with cranberry orange relish. But, then the day went down hill from there. We went to see my dad's grave with Jack and Ainsley. First of all, there isn't grass and it earth has REALLY sunk. I almost felt like I could see his coffin. That wasn't the bad part. We put flowers on his grave...that wasn't the bad part. The bad was when Jack asked to see Papa. He thought we were actually going to see Papa. That was the bad part. That broke my heart. I thought I was going to lose it! I kept it together, but cried in the car. I was pretty sure Jack was going to cry. He was so excited because he thought we were going to see Papa. I guess we kept telling him we were going to see where Papa was buried, but he didn't understand what I meant. Oh...I felt terrible. Ainsley kept saying, "Where's Papa", but of course, she didn't understand. I wish we could see Papa, but we have pictures and memories...but I don't think Jack understands.

From there, we went to my Aunt's house, so the day got better. I was nice just visiting with everyone.

Then we came home. Everything seemed fine until midnight. From there, Ainsley cried until 6am! I am exhausted. We went to the doctor and she has an ear infection. Luckily, I took her prescription to Target and they filled it within 10 minutes.

I miss my dad and I say I had a rough day, but I really didn't. I was surrounded by family who care. My mom came over today to help me with Ainsley. My dad's family was there to help us feel better. My Aunt Joan even suggested we take a picture out to the cemetery for Jack to see him. I received my Thumbie, which is my necklace that is my dad's thumb print to have. I know it sounds weird, but it is also nice to have something of my dad's, especially for my kids.

Don Russell 1946-2009

Well, I haven't been on for awhile...not that anyone has noticed...but there is a reason. My dad died on December 1, 2009 while riding his bike. One thing we know...he wasn't hit by a car. We still don't know what happened, but we hope that he didn't suffer.

You know, the word my mom used to tell me my dad died was deceased. What kind of word is deceased? She told me she used that word because that is what the police used. I hate that word. It seems that word is the "nice" way of saying dead. Just use dead...don't sugar coat it! And while I am on sugar coating...it's nice to hear the words "sympathy, prayers, thinking about you, condolences" the words we want to hear (in my opinion) were stinks or my favorite "sucks". It just sucks.

You know what else sucks...having to tell people. I wish there was some way of letting people know without having to tell them. I had to call my dad's sisters and tell them what happened...now that sucked. That was the WORST phone call to make...well, it was pretty bad calling Jeff and my brother, but I had to call my aunts (dad's sisters) to let them know their first sibling died. IT JUST SUCKED!!!! IT SUCKED CALLING EVERYONE!!!

Then there is your bodies reaction to death...the naseua, the puking, the pooping. Yup, I said it...your body just does weird things. I hadn't eaten anything for like 24 hours, but I was pooping! It was so disgusting!

Sorry about that last part, but just be forwarned!

I can also tell you it sucked to see your dad's body in the viewing room. We didn't get to see my dad's body for 2 days because it was at the Jackson County Medical Examiner for an autopsy. You know, he just looked like he was sleeping, but it wasn't my dad. I just wanted him to wake up and he wouldn't. THAT SUCKED

It also sucked when you had to plan who to ask to be a pall bearer, what casket to pick, and a headstone. It's also amazing what music they have a funeral homes...I was impressed, but I had to laugh because they asked us if we wanted someone to sing it or if prerecorded music was okay. We thought the prerecorded was just fine.

We went for some nicer headstone because I decided since I was going to look at it for awhile, I wanted it to look a certain way. I like my parents headstone.

Anyway...my dad was loved by many people. It was very apparent at his visitation and funeral. Lots of love from friends and family. I miss my dad. I miss his wrinkles, his smile, his hugs, his everything. I miss hearing his voice, but I have video. I miss him playing with Jack and Ainsley

I'm sure I will have more on this topic later (and I'm sorry), but it's my blog! Death sucks.